Anyway, let me just start by echoing the thoughts of the waves of support I've seen on Facebook, and say that all my love goes out to Stuart's friends and family. This was the first time I'd met a lot of Stuart's loved ones and the strength and support they showed not just Stuart, but everyone that came to visit him and all the guests that attended his wedding, was nothing short of inspirational. I can't even begin to imagine what they're going through right now but I think one of the things they can be proud of is how they and Stuart brought so many people together. There are so many people looking out for each other, who will help each other through this, which is absolutely a testament to who Stuart was and the ones closest to him.
It's remarkable looking at some of the messages on Facebook from people I've never met, from places I've never been, that seem to be wording my exact thoughts and experiences of this guy who we all loved. I think it confirms what we all knew, that Stuart was one of the most genuine, warm people you could ever hope to meet. Within the first minute of the first time I met him, he had me in a fit of hysterical laughter that I didn't recover from for at least half an hour. He became part of my life and part of my family. Whenever he would come round to our house, everyone would be so happy. I just couldn't wait to be around him. That's the kind of person he was. And he would make an impact on everyone. There's family members I've spoken to in the past few weeks who might have met Stuart once at a party a few years ago, and the second you say his name they remember him vividly. Because that's who he was. He really, properly cared about other people. Sometimes too much. I was lucky enough to be able to spend time with him in the hospice in the past weeks and the concern he showed for his friends who wanted to visit him was staggering. He was still putting other people's feelings before his own, like he always has.
I really started getting to know Stuart when we did a play together in high school. I learned a lot about him during that time. It seemed like he had a lot of self doubt and that he wasn't quite aware of his own capabilities, even when everybody was telling him how great he was. I also learned just how bright and creative he was. He had an amazing professionalism about him but would also be responsible for everybody enjoying it as much as we did. Everybody was just so happy to be around him, and I think that's what I'm really going to miss. It just so happened that only a week or so before I heard the initial diagnosis, I found some old video clips I never did anything with. They show some of the memories I hold with most fondness. Days where everybody would just sit doing nothing and enjoy each other's company. Simpler days. Certainly never saw this coming. Here are some of those videos, along with some other bits and pieces of the friendship I had with this wonderful guy.
None of this feels real yet, and I'm not sure I ever want it to. I can't quite wrap my head around the fact that you're gone and I won't be able to laugh with you again, or speak in New-York-ish accents to ducks again, or take part in a flailing awkward hug again. And that just makes me so damn sad. I learned a lot from you. You taught me to be open and bold and happy, even if you weren't aware you were doing it. And I could never thank you enough for that. I'm gonna try my best to live my life as happily as you made everyone feel just by being you. I just know that it's not gonna be nearly as fun without you.
I'm really gonna miss you, Stu.
